The Art of Intimacy

“Desire, in a sense, is the more feminine face of God.”

Reading – A Sensory Organ

Our desire is a sensory organ that travels with us through the world, feeling for the deeper things that we want; the pleasures of connection and love and a feeling of belonging that will bring us into the fullness of who we are. The desire for those experiences is often squeezed out of our lives based on our ideas about what’s right or proper, what we should be doing in any given moment, or who we aspire to be. When we impose an idea on desire we can feel the constriction: our body contracts and becomes tight. We can gauge the condition of our relationship with desire by how fluid and flowing our body feels.

Eros teaches us that the natural state of the body is anything but mysterious; that the very sensation we are looking for when making love is always within us. It’s the sensation of desire met; deeply gratified. We aim for gratification, not satisfaction. Being satisfied means we’re full and don’t need more while the feeling of gratification is conferred when we’re both having and wanting simultaneously. There is a gap between the two – room for growth and becoming – and when we cohabitate with desire that dynamic tension becomes our dwelling. When we are in clear, unimpeded, responsive relationship with our desire, this is where it brings us.

This feeling of gratification is not going to happen by way of our desire serving us. We can convince ourselves that it will, but desire doesn’t work that way. We will only attain what we seek when we serve desire. This is the natural order of things that we may offer our participation to at any time. The moment we acknowledge, respect and, most importantly, can feel Eros moving inside us, all the filters fall away. We’re no longer in our heads. We are in our bodies, fully present to moment to moment experience; everything opens and we feel ease, joy, and radiance.

Meditation – Sitting in the Energy of Desire

Set aside ten minutes and sit in a quiet comfortable space. Clear your mind and then feel for something you desire. Something simple, like a dessert or a massage or a bath. Feel the sensations and emotions it brings into you, notice each subtle thing about how it makes you feel. Notice if it has you want to jump up and go grab the thing. Notice if there are voices that come up, maybe telling you it’s ridiculous, or reasons why you can’t have it. Notice those thoughts and let them float by and come back to the sensation of that desire. 

Feel the sensation of desire build in your body. Can you feel it, taste it, see yourself having it. Then see if you can clear out the object from your mind, just leaving the energy of desire itself. Where do you feel it in your body? What does the sensation feel like? 

Journal on what this energy of desire feels like and any other insights you had during your meditation.